Experiencing God's Healing

Not long ago, I had a very painful experience that deeply wounded me and my family. The pain was not from a physical injury but was spiritual and emotional in nature. A small group of people did not like how we handled things in our previous ministry setting and so they made it their mission to be critical of me and us and to sow seeds of dissent amongst the people we served. Of course I made some mistakes and so they had ample ammo to "build their case" so to speak. As things reached a point of open conflict, we decided to leave that church for the greater good of the people, of our family, and of me. However, the whole affair hurt us and several others and this pain still shows itself now and again.

As we "picked up the pieces" and moved on, we have had to wrestle with some wounds and have needed healing. Since I was at the center of this pain, I have been the one needing the most healing. Besides the pain of strained relationships and an unexpected relocation halfway across the country, I had times where I doubted by faith, my Call to ministry, and the relevance of the church. For a time, I couldn't even go to church and I certainly didn't want to be in full-time ministry. The only thing that helped me overcome this pain and work through these issues was the healing presence of God.

God allowed me to be angry, to be silent with Him, and even to yell at Him. He let me groan in misery and suffering and great spiritual pain. He also waited beside me, reached out to me with His loving arms, and often gave me spiritual hugs. He has even let me lay my head on His shoulder and cry my eyes out until there were no more tears to be shed. Since that time, He has been healing me and my family. We have not reached a place of complete healing but everyday my family and I experience His healing touch. As each day passes, the pain grows duller and the joy becomes sweeter. As we go forward, I know my life and ministry will be better and I can't wait to see how God uses even this for His greater good!

Journeys That We Make

I recently took a long journey from Oklahoma to North Carolina for a meeting and to visit some dear friends. The road was long, curvy, full of mountains, and filled with valleys. I enjoyed the trip and had a great time at the meeting and with my friends. However, it was a long journey that wore me out and left me weary. Even now, I am still recovering and regrouping from the exhausting aspects of this trip. As I look back on this recent journey, I am struck by how similar it is to the journey of faith that we all take.

Like the long trip, my faith journey has been full of roads and paths that are long, curvy, full of mountains, and filled with valleys. Over the last few weeks, this journey as been especially hard and even slow. The pressures of life, the burdens of living, and the uncertainties in our world have worn me out and made me feel weary and very tired. Even now, I am trying to shake off the weariness and find new energy. I don't doubt God or even my faith but I am not as motivated or excited about God or my faith. This point in my faith journey is one of a valley moment where I am trying to climb back up the side of a mountain. It is hard work, very tiring, and seems to be neverending. And yet, I know that I will make it to the mountain eventually, that the journey will be sweet again in the near future, and that the horizon of life and faith is only going to be brighter. In the meantime, I will struggle through the valley with the hope of the mountain guiding me.